“Although not many dogs have style, cats have it with abundance” – Charles Bukowski
Anyone who knows me, knows I love cats. I don’t consider myself to have attained to the status of full-fledged “crazy cat lady” yet, but give me time, I’m still fairly young. On that note, where do I get one of these ????
*Side note: I would like to boast a bit and announce the completion of not one, but TWO, outdoor cat shelters (consisting of straw, a pillowcase, 2 rubbermaid containers, and more straw) (I have yet to confirm that any of the SEVEN confirmed feral cats in my backyard have used said shelters) *End note*
Regardless, you can imagine how thrilled I am to see that cats have rightfully taken their place in the fashion world, and they don’t appear to be leaving any time soon. This is both exciting and terrifying, for reasons that shall become apparent fairly soon.
Below is an excerpt from the 2012 Harper’s Bazaar article ‘Kat Daddy’, allowing you, the reader, a journey into the charming/disturbing/bizarre mind of fashion genius, Mr. Karl Lagerfeld. The object of Lagerfeld’s affection is one Birman kitty cat named Choupette, who I will admit is beyond gorgeous!
Kristina O: Tell me about her eating habits.
Karl L: She goes in the kitchen and sits in front of the food. She doesn’t like to eat on the floor, so I have to put the food on the table. Her dishes are by Goyard. She has one for water, one for her little croquette, and one for her pâté. You have to serve everything, and she makes a choice.
Kristina O: Does she have a favorite person besides you?
Karl L: I hope not! But, yes, the two maids, especially one called Françoise. They spend hours together and do her beauty jobs, her hair, and all those things, and they have moments of tenderness with her. They have to write in the book exactly what they’re doing. Because there’s a diary, I know everything.
“Because there’s a diary, I KNOW EVERYTHING”
A little creepy, no? I can only imagine the interview process for poor Françoise:
Karl L: So Madam Françoise, I assume you have come with a full portfolio, oui? I require pictures, dates, fur samples, etc of all the petites chats you have cared for.
Françoise: But of course, Monsieur Lagerfeld.
Karl L: I’ll be confirming that you have indeed studied French cuisine and worked as a chef de cuisine for at least two Michelin restaurants, including time spent as a Saucier and most importantly, a Poissonier.
Françoise: Oui Monsieur Lagerfeld, I have attached my letters of referrals from Monsieurs Paul Bocuse, Alain Ducasse, and Madame Julia Child.
Karl L: Well, if that’s the best you can do……okay. Next question: Would you take a bullet for my Choupette? Because on occasion, you may need to.
Karl L: Mon Dieu…do you want this job or not, Françoise??? I have tried to fit Choupette for a Kevlar vest but it looks horrible on her, I simply won’t subject her to it! I won’t do it!
Françoise: Okay, oui, yes, yes, I will take a bullet for le petite-chat Choupette!!!
Karl L: Good. Last question….when you are brushing Choupette, is the brush pattern ‘Brush-brush-stroke-pet-brush’ or ‘Brush-stroke-stroke-pet-brush-brush’?? Think carefully about this!
Françoise: Actually, Monsieur Lagerfeld, I have been having much success with the new Japanese technique ‘Brush-brush-brush-stroke-stroke-pet’. It was introduced by the team at Hello Kitty and it’s been very well received thus far!
Karl L: No, NO, this is insanite! It cannot be done!!! Get out of my house!!! Wait….wait Françoise, perhaps this, like my creations in fashion, is so daring….so new, that only the bravest of visionaries would be courageous enough to bring this to the rest of the world. You have passed this part of the interview!!
Françoise: This…..this part??
Karl L: Yes, surely you had to know that Choupette would want to speak with you herself!! *shakes head in wonderment*.
But seriously, upon reading this article, I was truly torn between admiration and annoyance – admiration that this iconic fashion rock-star would surrender his heart to this sapphire-eyed furball, and annoyance that this little feline gets treated better than most humans do! To give you an idea of what Choupette’s dishes may have cost, it may help to tell you that a certain Goyard traveling stainless steel feeding dish set sells for a mere $4,500. My two beautiful blue-point Siamese fur babies get a $10 stainless steel dish set from Pet Smart. Hmm, I guess I could bedazzle it…….
So you want to pay homage to the species that were the BFFs of pharaohs? I can hardly blame you.Cats are pretty magnificent creatures. Here are a few points to paw-nder when outfitting oneself in the motif of the Felis Catus :
1. Similar to the plaid rule, if you’re scared, start off small. There are an endless amount of options for the newbie who is still a bit faint of heart when it comes to cat fashion. Why not try a delicate gold kitten necklace? Maybe be daring and get a silver-gold combo necklace with TWO kittens on it!! Perhaps a little purse?
2. Pick ONE item and stick with it. Even if you’re not in a professional setting, please resist the urge to go full-fledged-feline. It doesn’t look as “cute” as you think it does, I promise you.
3. Save the felines for casual Fridays. Look at yourself in the mirror. No really, LOOK at yourself. You’re wearing a cat on your shirt. While it’s quirky and possibly cool, you can’t possibly expect to pull this off in an office environment on any other work day. And please, don’t even THINK of wearing this on a job interview, unless said interview is for a position at your local chapter of the SPCA, OR it’s the teensiest-tiniest barely discernable cat pattern gracing the sleeves of a beautiful creme chiffon-esque blouse, tucked safely under a crisp black blazer 🙂
4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you gotta OWN this look! Cats are very confident, you’d agree? You like them? Great. You hate them? Sorry for your loss, it’s no fur off their back. So, do them (and yourself!) justice by channeling that attitude and wear your piece with fortitude. This beautiful lady certainly is:
Please join me next time for my ‘Good cat, Bad cat’ segment, where we’ll discuss some of the best and worst in cat fashion. It won’t disappoint, but it may lead to some serious purr-ging of your closet 🙂
I remain your faithful servant in the purrrrr-suit of fashion,